Thursday, April 24, 2008
Monday, April 21, 2008
AVP-R...4/20+
Tried to squeeze this one out before 4/20 was over, but between working brunch, watching Tom McCaffrey's cd-recording performance at Piano's, and finally taking a toke, it took longer than I thought. And here it is:
"Aliens Versus Predator... Requiem? Requiem? AVP-R takes place immediately after the first movie, but they couldn't call it it Aliens Versus Predator Two? Requiem? Is there heroine in this movie? Do the Alien and Predator go ass to ass? No they don't. Sorry to ruin it for you... but maybe they should, make that shit heap slightly more tolerable."
(please click to see the full-res image)
"Aliens Versus Predator... Requiem? Requiem? AVP-R takes place immediately after the first movie, but they couldn't call it it Aliens Versus Predator Two? Requiem? Is there heroine in this movie? Do the Alien and Predator go ass to ass? No they don't. Sorry to ruin it for you... but maybe they should, make that shit heap slightly more tolerable."
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
April Fool's Day!
A few years ago I called my mom—I said, “Mom, you know how I went to Atlanta for New Years… well, I fooled around with this German chick and, well, she’s pregnant.”
I was ready for her to be infuriated that I’d gotten this woman pregnant (out of wedlock! omg!), but instead received a completely different reaction: “Oh my God, I’m going to be a GRANDMOTHER! Yay!”
“No, wait—April Fool’s Day!”
"Oh. Son, don't do that."
What a weak April Fool’s Day joke that turned out to be. So I learned my lesson… now when I call, it’s like, “Mom, I knocked up a young woman…”
"Yaaaay!"
“No, wait, mom—like, really young… like, 13.”
"Oh, well… at least I’ll still be a grandmother… "
“Actually, we’re not keeping the baby. In fact, I’m calling you to borrow money for an abortion.”
"Oh my God…"
“But it’s okay, because I’m going to this one doctor who’s aborted the last four of your potential grandchildren… and after this fifth one, my little punch card will be filled up and the sixth will be free!”
*sobbing*
“April Fool’s Day!”
I was ready for her to be infuriated that I’d gotten this woman pregnant (out of wedlock! omg!), but instead received a completely different reaction: “Oh my God, I’m going to be a GRANDMOTHER! Yay!”
“No, wait—April Fool’s Day!”
"Oh. Son, don't do that."
What a weak April Fool’s Day joke that turned out to be. So I learned my lesson… now when I call, it’s like, “Mom, I knocked up a young woman…”
"Yaaaay!"
“No, wait, mom—like, really young… like, 13.”
"Oh, well… at least I’ll still be a grandmother… "
“Actually, we’re not keeping the baby. In fact, I’m calling you to borrow money for an abortion.”
"Oh my God…"
“But it’s okay, because I’m going to this one doctor who’s aborted the last four of your potential grandchildren… and after this fifth one, my little punch card will be filled up and the sixth will be free!”
*sobbing*
“April Fool’s Day!”
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